Last Night I Drank a Beer In The Shower

Last Night I Drank a Beer In The Shower

It was one of those days. I don’t even have to elaborate on that sentence for you to know what I mean. Whether you’re a parent or not, everyone has “those days”. The days where you just need a moment. You need some space, some time, A MOMENT, to just be.

If you’re local to Southern California then you know August and September (heck even October) can be some of our hottest months. It’s really quite a shame they make the kids go back to school during our “local summer” but I digress…Today was hot. I typically don’t mind the summer heat, but today I was not about it.

This time of year is historically busy for my work, and to throw in the “back to school” of it all, it’s just downright insane. Not to mention, we are at a new school with new rules, new friends, new processes, new teachers – it’s too much NEW.

With the heat comes the whiney kids. And the hungry kids, because they are too hot to eat, but yet somehow still find the energy to burn whatever they have stored up on the playground. And then the tired kids show up around 3pm because they haven’t eaten, they’ve burned all of their reserved energy, and they’ve whined themselves into a stupor.

But I’m a “cool mom” (despite the heat) and decided to team up with my sister and take our boys for a swim. I envisioned cooling down by dipping my toes in the pool, laughing at the kids as their dives turned into belly flops, and having easy conversations with my sister. Instead the above-mentioned kids showed up, and they brought friends – the ornery and argumentative kids.

Then something suddenly came up. My cute ponytail had drooped low behind my neck. The denim mini skirt I was wearing somehow had hiked its way up past my waist.  And I was sweating so much down my back it traveled down to my butt. It was time to call it quits.

Leaving to come home took way longer than it needed to. By the time we made it inside the door – I was done. I scrambled together some version of dinner while B showered, flipped on Spongebob Squarepants and said “It’s your lucky night! TV DINNER!” I opened the fridge and saw the most glorious cold beverage staring at me – Mexican Lager. But where could I find 15 minutes of solitude and drink this beer in piece? That’s right, the shower.

To be fair, I hadn’t drank a beer in the shower in probably 15 years. I’m not even sure if I ever had, but if I did, it for sure would have been in my “college days”.  I say “college days” because I didn’t go to college until 26, but consider my cruise ship days my college years.

It wasn’t even about having a drink, it was more about the fact that I needed a moment to myself that was all mine. I knew in that time my only moment was the shower. And to make the moment even sweeter, I added a beer. I have to say, it felt weird at first, but then it oddly felt so invigorating to be doing something out of the norm.

I soaked up every square inch of space within my moment of “me” and I genuinely don’t think I would have made it without it. Sometimes we just cannot make it to bed time and that’s okay! Throw your kid in front of the TV every once in awhile and allow yourself some time. Some days you just gotta drink that beer in the shower, ya know?

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The Summer of Me

The Summer of Me

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.”

-John Lubbock

It’s been the summer of me. And I don’t feel guilty one bit. As some of you know, in the summer my son spends a big chunk of the week with his dad. When new friends hear this piece of information I am often times asked, “Oh, I’m so sorry. You must miss him a lot?” I very kindly respond, “No, not really.”

You see, I have my son 90% of the time during the school year. His dad doesn’t live in the same city, not even the same county, so logistically it’s hard to get down there between school and sports. While I wish his dad would move closer to us, it’s not our reality right now. So, the school year is 90% on me and it is exhausting.

Between school lunches, drop offs/pick ups, play dates, homework, school projects, emotional breakdowns, teacher gifts, household duties, my full time job, and my part time job…by June this mama is SPENT. Some days getting both us out of the door on time is a task and a half. While I yearn for the weekends – sometimes those are more hectic than weekdays!

I have a great co-parenting relationship that I am so grateful for, but it doesn’t make up for the lack of co-parenting in the flesh. I am the bad cop and hardly ever the good cop. I am the enforcer of house rules and hardly do we ever have the time to break the rules. I have to create schedules and structure so that my son and I can have happy and successful days. But, when all of that falls on the shoulders of one person, it can take a toll.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. I love my son. But when summer rolls around, it is my time to refuel. It is my time to regroup. It is 8 weeks of: mindless TV; hours spent on the couch in my robe; days of dishes piling up in the sink; laundry half done; beds unmade; clothes on the floor; cereal for dinner; staying up til midnight because I can; sleeping in until 8 because I can; solo Disneyland trips; and many Door Dash deliveries.

I never want to reflect on being a single mom as anything but positive. I don’t know any different. But no, I don’t feel guilty for my summer of me. And you shouldn’t either.

Good luck to all the mamas that are gearing up for the school year ahead. We got this! Also, does anybody know how many days until Christmas break?

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