Will You Be Friends With My Son?

Will You Be Friends With My Son?

“Before you speak, think and be smart, it’s hard to fix a wrinkled heart.”

It’s the second week of Kindergarten and my son already got his feelings hurt. I knew it was coming because well, kids can be mean. But it didn’t hurt my heart any less – and it very obviously hurt my sons. So much so that he pushed the little boy that said ” I don’t like you. We’re not friends….I don’t like you – double.” Should my son have pushed? Absolutely not. But should he have stood up for himself? Absolutely yes.

My son is an innocent. He wears his heart on his sleeve, is built with happiness, and loves everybody. I honestly don’t think there’s somebody he’s met that he didn’t like. He thinks everybody is his friend and he can’t understand why somebody wouldn’t want to be his. In theory this sounds like an amazing human. But in reality, it’s hard putting somebody like that out in the world, knowing not everybody works like that. Heck, I don’t even work like that! I am perfectly content not making new friends and just going about my day. I have to work really hard to make conversation and build new relationship; especially when it comes to the parents of my sons friends. It’s so hard for me and I feel like it’s affecting my sons friendships. But, I’m working on it…

Little kids can be cliquey and a lot of the times I don’t think it’s intentional. It’s like they have blinders on and can only see what’s directly in front of them. They have a neighbor friend and that’s all they need. Why would they look around and try to be friends with the person next to them? The majority don’t have the instinct to do that. And that’s fine. But it’s hard to watch when my son is standing in front of a group of kids smiling, thinking he’s part of the group too. I know that they don’t notice him and it breaks my heart. I want to scream, “BE FRIENDS WITH MY SON! HE’S FUN! AND KIND!” But, I can’t…this is his journey that he needs to be on. Not mine, not ours. His.

For me this is the hardest part of parenting: letting our kids just figure it out. We can’t make all of the decisions for them, even as young as 5. I can’t be with him at school to guide him. All I can do is teach him at home, give him all of the resources and tools he needs so he can go out into the world and be successful. But, that’s not easy.

So what did I do after I heard my son got his feelings hurt and he made the poor decision to push? I wanted to cry. My son cried. His heart was sad but he also was worried that he wasn’t a kind person anymore. But, I reminded him that he was kind and he just needed to remember to use his kind heart. And I also let him know other acceptable forms of standing up for himself that didn’t involve hurting other people. He cried some more and said, “Mom, I just forgot to turn my heart on, that’s all.” We decided to pray. We asked God to help remind him to turn his heart on every morning.

I know I can’t be naive and think that this is the only time his feelings are going to be heart. But I wish it would be. I’m not asking for my son to be the most popular kid in school, I just hope and pray that he finds his little community of friends he can call home.

How are you adjusting to your kids at school? Have they had problems making friends? Would love to know your story – leave me a comment!

signature

 

Why I Chose To Work From Home

Why I Chose To Work From Home

Growing up my mom didn’t have to work. She took my sister and I to school and picked us up every single day. I never had to go to any after school program – I never even went to daycare! I was really blessed. I didn’t think much of it as a kid because I didn’t know any different. It wasn’t until I had a son of my own that I really realized that I took the presence of my mom for granted.

When my son was just about 2 1/2 I had to go back to work full time. It was so hard. I hated leaving him every morning. I had to be at work really early in the morning so some days I wouldn’t even see him before I left because he would still be sleeping. Luckily enough in the few years that I have been back working full time I was able to have a job with flexible hours or really close to home! However, it still lacked the one important thing I was wanted the most: to drop off and pick up my B from school.

At the beginning of this year I started praying for a job that would allow me to do this. I had friends and family kind of laugh it off…I mean where was I going to find this job?! I searched; interviewed; and prayed some more. Nothing was coming up. At one point I just let it go and realize it just wasn’t going to happen. I had a great job that I wasn’t going to leave for something mediocre. But then just when I wasn’t looking any more, the perfect job (for me) landed in my lap – working from home!

Actually when this job presented itself to me, I said no at first! I was really worried I was going to put myself in a position where I wouldn’t thrive. Being a single mom, I just don’t have the luxury of taking any job. I need to make sure it’s a right fit for not only me, but for my little man. Would I like working from home? Was there growth within this company? So many unknowns left me a little anxious and I was comfortable where I was. But, an old co-worker (who got me the interview!) kept pushing about how wonderful this company was. And of course how great it would be for my son. After a lot of prayer and mindful thinking, I accepted.

I’m only on day two, but it is such a dream! I get to wake up every morning with my son, make him breakfast, get him ready for the day, AND take him to school! GAME CHANGER! I already see such a difference in his happiness and all of my anxiety has gone out the window. I really love connecting with his teacher, peers and their parents every day. I’m looking forward to the school year and being able to be more present in my sons life. I don’t get the luxury of being a stay at home mom, but this is the next best thing and I’ll take it for all it’s worth.

Did you make the decision to work from home? How has it changed your family dynamics?

signature

I’m not ready for Kindergarten

I’m not ready for Kindergarten

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” 

~ Dr. Suess

IMG_4943 2

Motherhood is such a wild ride. You wait in line for months just waiting for this adventure to begin. Then suddenly you’ve fastened your seat belt, braced yourself, and GO. Unlike a real ride, this one doesn’t slow down and you never get off. You may break down from time to time. You might even have to tighten your seat belt every now and again. But from the moment it’s GO time – you go, and soar, twist and turn, and try to hold on for the biggest adventure of your life thus far.

I look back at when B was first born and remember discussing how school seemed so incredibly far away. I didn’t put thought to what school he would go to, other than I wanted him to go to a public school. I didn’t go to public school and I feel like I missed out on building a community. I didn’t have a tight knit group of friends growing up. The school I went to was really small and I always felt like an outcast. Not because anybody picked on me, I just didn’t make any deep connections to my peers. I had a really hard time adjusting to high school when I finally got to attend a public school. I was in such culture shock I cried on registration day. When I think about it now, I probably had an anxiety attack and didn’t know how to cope.

It has always been in my mind that if I had went to a “normal” school my whole life, I would have built relationships with my classmates, created a group of friends and made a community I felt safe in. I drifted through a lot of groups in high school trying to find where I fit in. I did cheer, and dance and drama. But none of those groups overlapped and I still felt like an outsider. Who can really say if it’s all because of where I went to school or if it’s just who I am, but it is something I’ve held on to. Because of this I promised myself my kids would always go to public school when it was time.

My son went to a private little preschool the past two years that I just loved. He loved it! We were both really sad when it was time to move on. Now that it’s time to venture into Kindergarten  I am having a really hard time. I visited B’s school and met all of the kinder teachers. They were wonderful. The school is wonderful! But, I’m nervous.

IMG_0151

Because I didn’t go to a public school I don’t know what to expect. It seems so big for such a little guy. And I understand people go to school every day and he will be fine. But now I also understand the decision my parents made to send me to such a small private school. Sending your kids off to school can be so daunting. And to be perfectly honest? I’m not ready for Kindergarten. Some nights I lay in bed awake and worry about all of the things that can happen to him: bullying, getting lost, him being scared, not being safe. The list goes on and on. I don’t really know how to navigate my fears as we are both venturing into the unknown.

But I do know this.

As much as I would give anything to stay home with my little guy and teach him everything he needs to know. I know that I can’t do that. I know that the best thing I can do for him is to send him off into the world so he can learn all of the tools he needs to succeed in life. The world can be such a scary place (trust me, I know!) and my job as his mom is to help him learn how to adapt and grow into himself with confidence.

IMG_1838

I wish that parenting was easier and that kids never grew up and they stayed little forever. But babies don’t keep. And all I can do is breath, pray, and love on my little man as much as I can. It is quite amazing how his precious smile and contagious giggle fills up my heart with love and the confidence to know that he’s got this. Because he does. They all do!

BritneeandBraden2017-83

Are you nervous about sending your kids off to school? I’ve love to know how you’re coping in the comments!

signature

All pictures taken by the incredible Reams Photo